I’m a recently single mother of two young girls and I am currently pregnant, living in San Diego, and working 50 hours a week. My husband Greg and I would have been married for 5 years in April if we were still together.
5 weeks ago, right before the end of the year, I told Greg that we were expecting our third child. We weren’t trying for one, but it happened anyway. Greg was very unhappy when I told him, he actually blamed me for getting pregnant, nevermind that he was the one who pushed for unprotected sex all the time.
Greg got so angry that at one point, I thought he was going to start throwing things. He drove off the morning of the 30th and I had no idea when he was going to be coming back. I called into work to let them know that I was using a personal day, called my mom to let her know I wasn’t going to be bringing the kids over that day, then I broke down and cried.
The kids and I watched Disney movies all day, I kept it together the best that I could for my children, but even at 4 and 3, they knew something was wrong. The next several days were terrible. Greg had texted me to let me know that he was alright but that he just needed time alone to think about things. This wasn’t the first time Greg did this, but it never lasted so long.
I tried to get some sense of normalcy back the next Monday by going to work and dropping the kids off at my mom’s house. After getting back home at around 6, I went to the bathroom and noticed none of Greg’s things were in there. Looking in the closet, I found 2 suitcases missing along with most of Greg’s clothing. Frantically, I called Greg but only got his voicemail. I had no idea what to do, I was lost, and that ended up costing me.
That night Greg texted me and told me that he would be home in 3 days, he just needed a little more personal space and that we could talk about our options with my pregnancy. At least I knew when he would be back, but I found out quickly that wasn’t the case at all. The next day I took money out of an ATM only to discover on the receipt that there was only about $800 in the account, when there should have been closer to $4000.
[sociallocker] Checking my online statements, I had discovered, to my horror, that only $1000 remained out of about $25000 in our savings account, and that the missing checking account money had been used over the past week on hotels, food, ATM withdrawals, and a plane ticket. That’s when it hit me, I looked in the safe, my husband’s Belgian passport was gone.
He was leaving the country, leaving me alone, with our children, and hardly any money. I cried again, this time I knew he wasn’t coming back. Two more days passed and the feeling was confirmed. I finally got the strength to call my mom and tell her about everything that had happened. She was supportive and told me I needed to get in touch with a lawyer immediately.
The lawyer said that he could start divorce proceedings, but they would take a minimum of 90 days to start going anywhere, and even longer if I had no idea where Greg was. I knew he had gone back to Belgium, but I didn’t know where. Worse yet, if he was in Belgium, I wouldn’t be able to get any alimony or child support from him since the United States doesn’t have a child support agreement with Belgium.
Two weeks ago I received an email from Greg, basically saying that he was sorry but he was leaving me because I got pregnant. He couldn’t handle the pressure of 2 children, let alone 3. He then went on to say that he needed the money to start his life over again fresh, to give his love to our daughters, and that he wouldn’t be “bothering” me anymore and that I should let him live his own life.
2 kids, a baby on the way, an upside down mortgage, a car loan, a job that doesn’t come close to paying for everything, and I should let him live his own life?
My mother has told me I was welcome to move in with her, I am so grateful for my mom, who has always been there when I needed her most through my life. She is even helping to pay for some of the legal fees that I am going to have to deal with.
My husband is a bad person, I can see that clearly now. I wish I had seen it sooner, but I will learn from my mistakes. I know I have a long road ahead with my pregnancy, divorce proceedings, and trying to get rid of my house, but I’m going to keep my chin up and do whatever I need to do to get through this, not just for me, but for my daughters, and my baby. [/sociallocker]