As a privileged white woman, I cannot imagine the type of hardships that a black man has to go through during the course of their life. I’ve only heard about, and read about, how African American men are incarcerated at a much higher rate as opposed to men of other races, how they earn less money, how they don’t have as many opportunities in life, all sorts of things.
What I do know is that I am pregnant with my ex-fiance’s baby, and while a lot of thought went into the decision of whether or not to keep him, I have decided that when he is born, I will be giving him to an adoptive family. I can honestly say that what tipped the scales in favor of adoption, as opposed to raising him myself, is the fact that he is half-black.
I can’t raise my baby in my world with my white family, white friends, white colleagues, almost everyone around me is white. It would not be fair to my child who would lose most of his cultural heritage, indeed who he really is, to the whitewashed life of me being his mother. His father and I are still friends, and while he doesn’t support my decision, claiming it takes “his” child out of his life, he knows there is nothing he can do.
He ended our relationship when I told him my decision, and the reasoning behind it. I don’t believe a single dad can properly nurture a child by themselves, and I don’t believe my baby would be accepted by…[sociallocker] his peers, either black or white, with me as his mother.
The African-American culture is a rich and lengthy one, punctuated by times of troubles, but also filled with vibrant heritage and inspirational figures. My fear is that as a mixed race child growing up primarily in white culture, he will fail to see everything the African-American culture has to offer, and may actually come to work against it. For every Bruno Mars or Tiger Woods, there are thousands of kids who won’t get any opportunity to succeed, primarily because of white culture.
By giving my baby to an African-American family who has embraced their roots, and are fairly well-off, I am giving him the best chance possible at both having a fulfilling cultural, and practical life.
The true injustice here is that even if I tried my hardest, it still would not be possible for me to give him this kind of life. Racism will always be around, though instead of being so outright, it will be creeping silently under the surface of society. As a white person, I understand that it is my fault that society functions this way, and I understand that white people need to fix the problem.
Because of the sensitive nature of this situation, and to protect myself, my ex, my baby, and the adoptive family, I can’t tell other people the real reason why I’m giving him up for adoption. Lies need to be told in order for white people to accept my decision without trying to change my mind. I’ve told my parents, who are supportive of my decision, and my ex, who is very much against it, but nobody else.
In the next couple of months, a beautiful baby is going to be born, and his life will be so much better in the arms of a welcoming African-American family, rather than in my culture, which stereotypes and hates.[/sociallocker]